Setting Boundaries
I have so many clients especially women who have trouble setting boundaries with family members, business, and friends. They are taken advantage of at home, at work, and in social situations. This leaves them fully depleted to care for themselves. This takes a toll on their health-leading them to my door.
Many times this crossing of boundaries is happening to them by the people that love them the most. But if we recall, God loved us unconditionally and still set boundaries when we sinned in the garden of Eden. And He has upheld those boundaries, yet loves us no less despite our great faults. If we want to protect our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health sometimes we need to set strict boundaries.
So What Does Setting Boundaries Look Like?
That may look like setting a time limit for your adult child to get their life together and move out. As hard as this may be, at some point you must tell yourself, that you have done your job and now it is their job to leave the nest. It may look like telling a friend you love who is bringing negativity, chaos, and drama into your life that you need some time apart to protect your heart. Maybe it is telling your spouse that you need one evening a week for yourself, or 10 minutes a day of quiet time, without the kids, for self-care. It may be telling your boss that you love your job, but you are feeling overwhelmed and it is wreaking havoc on your health and you can’t possibly keep working at your current pace. Or it might mean setting boundaries on the amount of times a week you take a phone call from a person who drains your energy. It may be telling a loved one you will no longer tolerate the disrespect or the way they are talking to you.
These conversations are hard. Many of us don’t like conflict. But even though God loved us very much, He sets healthy boundaries. How hard it must have been for Him to tell His loved ones, that he could no longer support their actions and had to set some rules and guidelines. As Lysa TerKeurst says in her book Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, people who are irresponsible with our hearts and our trust shouldn’t be allowed intimate, full time access to our hearts.
Compassion and Empathy
Now you may be thinking, but I want to be compassionate and empathetic to this person/people. I get it. God has more compassion and empathy than we can fathom, but He still said enough is enough, on more than one occasion in human history. Instead I am asking you to show empathy and compassion for YOURSELF. Setting boundaries is compassion for YOU. God would approve of that. He wants you to live a healthy and happy life with proper boundaries for self-love just as much as He wants you to love others.
Consider the people that are an energy drain on your life. They may be the people you love the most. Find a way to set some boundaries and have the hard conversation. Love, honor, and cherish your overall health. If you don’t, no-one else will.
If you need some health setting healthy boundaries, a yoga therapist can guide you through the journey to optimal health. Yoga therapy is not just about the physical pain, but the mental and emotional too. Pain is never just a bio problem, it is always a component of other aspects of who you are. We must deal with all of it. Schedule a free consult today. Try this loving kindness and compassion meditation with me on Insight Timer to get you started for free.
